Will You Press The Button?

You inherit several million dollars, a cushy mansion complete with maids and butlers (optional: they're DTF) and you get to effectively make one major decision in any industry you like once a month. There is a hidden security team keeping watch over you at all times (unless you make a request for whatever length of privacy you need)

but

There is a professional hitman trying to find an opportunity to kill you. You are aware of this but you have no knowledge that can be used to locate or neutralize him.

199 Comments

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KittykatKara101 11 years ago

My butlers would be demons and they would protect me from the hitman

The_muff1n_man 3 years ago

Is your butlers Alfred?

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Vag1101 11 years ago

He said trying to kill you, he didn't say the hit man will actually kill me

Oodle Snort 11 years ago

Oh yeah! He can only TRY, But that does not mean we will succeed.

Zacary 10 years ago

Hire deadpool to kill hitman, I win bitches

Laparas 10 years ago

Hahaha checkmate buddy

lolmybutt 11 years ago

Buy the death note

Avery-The-Meme-Lord 5 years ago

Bribe Ryuk with apples to kill the hitman after

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LordDoge 8 years ago

Y’all what if it’s agent 47

NiamhRussell 8 years ago

call deadpool to kill hin

Nick Talucci 13 years ago

Hire a private detective to find the hitman, then hire another hitman to kill the first one

slhammer 4 years ago

yes and also hire a hitman to find other hitmen trying to kill you

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Taker_of_Hells 6 years ago

Buy a death note and hire doom as a bodyguard

Taker_of_Hells 6 years ago

They are max security scp guards and saitama as my bodyguards

G3nius_mlg 9 years ago

There"s something called the police

WBGrock 10 years ago

Who wants to live forever? Use positipn to break corporate greed. They prolly sent the hitman. Also keep eye out for bald men with barcodes.

Oblivion__ 10 years ago

And check closets and garbage cans for bodies, that"s how you know it"s bad

IamAlwaysRight 10 years ago

you had me at maids dtf

PotatoShredder 10 years ago

Hitmans always kill their target Fuck

ChoiceMaster101 10 years ago

If you die, at least u f**ked up all the biggest companies in the world before u left XD

Catodog_thor 8 years ago

First change: the hit man industry, they don't want to kill me

Vahanian 8 years ago

I'm Artemis Fowl he can't touch me

Lzke 8 years ago

Find out who hired the hitman and hire a hitman to kill them. Then the hitman won't revieve their payment and thus won't complete their job

NHLic 9 years ago

Then I'll enjoy every seconds.

ChaseAntoni 9 years ago

911

YanChan 9 years ago

Senpai I know your here LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Cody Field 13 years ago

does DTF mean down to fuck?

supahslayah 11 years ago

@Eli T Too soon.

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Rachael Snider 13 years ago

My security team keeps me safe and would take care of the hit man. I see no downside.

acctocorrectu 9 years ago

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Jake Platt 13 years ago

Just hire someone to do it for you

Samalot127 10 years ago

Hire another hitman to kill the hitman.

ottertheplush 7 years ago

What no love for hitWOMAN?

JJ Wolf 11 years ago

So, either way I'm getting ducked regardless If you know what I mean wink wink

ThePaulDude 9 years ago

You could setup a scapegoat for the hitman to kill then kill the hitman yourself.

Sudokori 12 years ago

Way more editing than my current life by leaps and spans

Master-Pingu 8 years ago

Basically I just hire the best security ever then

c0mplikati0n 11 years ago

hire him not to kill you

ChronicDepression 10 years ago

Um is there a downside to this?

west49cool5 12 years ago

So pretty much you become every member of the Federal Reserve?

Kid_Gamer 11 years ago

bruh questions like this need to stop, I value my life over so much

Johnytoucan 10 years ago

Hire batman to get rid of the hitman

JP Sands 13 years ago

BECOME BATMAN

the-idiotic-demiboyflux 4 years ago

wow this person be writin paragraphs over here

Yasmin 11 years ago

I already have all the anxiety I need, thanks.

AceRiderYt 9 years ago

Use a double (person that looks and talks like you) to lure him where you are going, then tell the seat your doing this, they catch the hitman, your rich and have a mansion, so I guess your ok

Your ass 11 years ago

Trollololollololololololololololololol XD

candy_vess 6 years ago

im good at hiding so i wont die

Frosten Kitty 11 years ago

Loophole have your mansion on a paradise planet where nobody can get too

TheFlame096 9 years ago

have someone pose as u

alcaponed 11 years ago

Ty Dickson

Tr&oslash;llface 10 years ago

Oh my god im to lazy to read alla this

joman6977 9 years ago

money does not equal eternal happiness, it would eventually run out.

ThePaulDude 9 years ago

Actually money can buy happiness...by the hour that is.

Seagrave 12 years ago

carpe diem

gahmora 11 years ago

Haha just pay the hitman to not kill you

ThatOneGuy576 8 years ago

I would pay the Hitman off, then I would pay him to train me cause being a Hitman would be pretty fucking awesome

realpackiewolf 11 years ago

I never, and never ever will risk anything. (Well, most of the time)

IAmTheGayHuman...ExceptImAroace 10 months ago

...The last time someone thought they were safe, IMP showed up. Still, yes

kidsheldon 11 years ago

Hidden security FTW!

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